It's been months since your breakup but you're still stuck in
bed grieving over your lost love. You couldn't eat (or stop
eating), sleep or work because he's all you could ever think of.
You keep repeating your heartbreak mantra, "Why did he leave
me...what did I do?" as you succumb to a series of hysterical
crying fits. You're officially a victim of a broken heart.
So how do you smart from a brush-off? Here are some tips to help
you survive heartbreak hell.
1. Lose it
Moan. Sob. Let it all hang out. Rid yourself of all-consuming
anger and vent every ounce of vitriol in your system. Allow
yourself a good wallow. Take a pillow and pretend it was him and
do everything with it the way you'd want to get back at him.
Throw all his letters and photos away. Call your friends and
tell them your heartaches for the 20th time. Grieve your heart
out on a guy who was no better than a rotten carcass.
2. Accept what you can't change
So, it's over. This may be hard to swallow but the reality is
it's all over and there's nothing you can do about it. You are
left without a choice but to believe and accept it. Remember,
acceptance is the key to healing.
3. Work It Out Put your positive attitude at work and head to
the gym for some 30-minute work out a day. Exercise won't only
sweep the mopey mood away but it will also make you feel and
look good as it helps pump out endorphins, the body's natural
chemicals that make you feel strong and oozing with sex appeal.
4. Aromatherapy for the heart
Aromatherapy is believed to lift depression and soothe irritable
nerves. If you haven't tried it, you should try it now as it
works wonders not just to your body but also to your mind and
spirit. Here's a quick recipe: Fill a 10-ounce bottle of organic
vegetable oil with 9 drops of lavender oil, 15 drops of
sandalwood oil, 4 drops of rose essential oil and 10 drops of
warm water. Dispense 10 drops of the mixture to a warm bath and
you're ready to soak!
5. Put a front if necessary
You may still be experiencing emotional turmoil inside but if
you stay confined within the four walls of your room chances are
you'll feel even more miserable. Get out and show the world that
you're not an emotional wreck. Crack a smile and flash those
pearly whites. At first, you may find it awkward putting on a
face but soon enough you'd become so good at it you'd be doing
it for real, without even noticing it yourself.
6. Adopt a pet
Need some lovin'? Get a pet. Pets aren't only cuddly and
affectionate but are also a good diversion of your time and
focus. Sure you crave human affection but unlike humans, your
pet can't talk so the chances of getting yourself hurt are slim,
at least not emotionally.
7. Close the door
Don't be a fool for love. If he keeps calling you to ask for
another chance or to tell you that he has someone new but wants
to stay as friends, don't bite. You won't only be allowing
yourself to fall in love with him again but you're also making
yourself believe subconsciously that there's something left in
him for you when the truth is, there's none. False hopes mean
nothing but emotional boo-boos.
8. Get busy
Discover things you love to do that you weren't able to explore
because he didn't approve of them when you were still together.
Schedule night-outs with friends and engage in activities you
haven't done before. With so many things to occupy your mind,
you'd be so busy to even think about your heartbreak.
9. Move on
An end of a relationship doesn't mean an end of you. You don't
need a man to make you feel like a real woman. If he can't see
what's beautiful and special about you, what kind of man is he?
Not someone worth your time, it's clear. Not someone who
deserves you either.
Breakups can be very painful and tormenting. Sometimes, it even
makes us feel like dying. Funny how we feel so hedonistically
wonderful when we are in love then end up feeling gruesomely
dreadful after a breakup. Nevertheless, it's a risk that we all
have to take. While there's promise in loving, there are no
guarantees. So live and love. Get hurt and love again. After
all, there's no joy without pain and no bliss without hell.
© 2005 Rachelle Arlin Credo. All rights reserved.
About the author:
Rachelle Arlin Credo is an entrepreneur and relationship coach.
She also works as an image consultant and part-time writer. Her
stories, articles, essays and poetry have been published in
various magazines and online publications. For more info, visit
her website at
http://www.crachelle.tk
